Dear Diary ..

Dear diary ,

It's been 3months I have erased him from my life . I am happy with my life now although there's still a lil bit problem here and there . But , i am happy . I am happy being a single lady , that not need to get tense with all the loves problem . I have a lot of friends . tons of them . they're always be there for me no matter what . I know , you know , we know .

Dear diary ,

I've falled in love with my ex schoolmate once . And i know , he know , that I love him so much . i've never ever thought that we could break up in a mean of time . Perhaps , i know he's a good guy , even our friends told me that he's a very sincere guy to fall in love with . Even my mum's already know about him , but of course she don't know about our relationship . But , i failed . we failed . almost 2 months and kapooff , GONE . how was that suppose to be ? I've started to cry almost everyday , everynight , till my eye got swollen but i don't care . I can't accept the fact indeed . there's no reason , no answer , no nothing ! but i know , that's the fact .. i must face it when no one does . (:

Dear diary ,

I've fall for someone once after I break with him . everything goes smooth , till i actually got the rumors about him .

Well , girls like me , should not have jump into a conclusion at the first place right ? I am actually do assume that he's a type of girl-boy . u know what i mean ? girls lover ? yes . and he's HIS bestfriend . And i am being grateful for found out his ex's which is my friends' friend . (: Discovered much and now i know what type of guy he is . But nahh . there's no such thing called FALLING FOR HIM or LOVE HIM or whatsoever u wanna call them . okay ? :)

Dear diary ,

After a while , i got into the center of intention from my ex whom wanna be my bf again . So , there goes I tried for a month only but then I can't . I can't be with him no matter how much i love him . we're different personality . there's no one day without any arguements . Even after we broke up , there's no such thing that we called "friends" anymore . He do his own thing , so do I . thanks for being there whenever i'm in such a big problem . thanks for everything and good bye (:

Dear diary ,

It's been 4 months i think , either more , or even less , that i've lost contact with him after i said the last word .

then just now , yes JUST now . he called me . i was quite in shock . but i answered his call . i lower my tone , and start saying hello and blablabla . ya , he went to training for 3 months in hongkong and i never knew about it . He lost . He dissapeared . There's no news from him to me . But eventually today , he called me .

the thing touched me a lot is his words . :'(

I know i dumped him , but i am tired to get in the problems anymore . i am totally tired . I don't want to own anyone , even i don't want anyone to own me too . Let me be on my own feet . Let me be myself . Let me alone .

Aduhh .

Susah kan ? haih ..

tension .